Kathy and I just finished watching part 1 of Steven King’ “IT.” So we’ll be up for a while…
Today Nicole and Danny invented a new game called “Hypnotize Dad.” They waved pens back and forth in front of my eyes to make me fall asleep. Nicole came up with some ingenious ways to alter my personality. I gave Danny the power to wake me up or make me fall asleep again.
First Nicole said that I would forget all my numbers. Danny woke me up and Nicole started testing me. “Count to 10.”
“Ten,” I said. And she laughed, so of course Danny laughed.
She started holding up her fingers. “How many is this?”
“Fingers,” I said. So they had a lot of fun with that.
“Go to sleep,” said Danny, and my head dropped.
We went through several cycles. Nicole had me forget all of their names and my name. After Danny woke me up, they had a good time introducing me to the family and explaining exactly who I was.
“Your name is Jeb,” Nicole explained.
“My name is Jeb.”
“But we call you Dad,” she added.
“My name is Dad.”
My confusion was wonderfully entertaining. “Go to sleep,” Danny shouted.
Nicole had me forget how to tell time. She tried to have me forget everything I knew and how to do everything. “I remember how to do everything,” mumbling my protest from my hypnotic state. Afterall, there are limits to a dad’s acting abilities.
So she settled for having me forget how to dance. Danny woke me up and Nicole immediately invited me to the dance floor. Sure enough, I couldn’t dance a single step. The kids danced with glee around there danceless father. “Go to sleep,” Danny said again, and I dropped to the floor.
“You forgot how to talk,” Nicole said.
“I forgot how to talk.”
“And you forgot how to listen!” she added without thinking.
“I forgot how to listen.”
“Wake up!” shouted Danny.
“Men Um En Umma Num,” I said. The kids exploaded with laughter as they both tried to talk to me at once, and all that came out of me was nonsense. I was still lying on the floor.
“Go to sleep!” Danny inevitably shouted, always eager to use his power. I pointed to my ears, looking desperately back and forth between Danny and Nicole, speaking nonsense.
Nicole suddenly realized the Catch-22 she had created as Danny continued his go-to-sleep commands. I had a hard time keeping a straight face.
But Nicole is always resourceful, and she began to show me how to go to sleep, forming a pillow with her two hands and lowering her head and closing her eyes.
Technically she should have gotten Danny to do this according to the unspoken rule I had been practicing, but I thought she deserved credit for thinking in a pinch. So I went to sleep.
Relieved she said, “You remember how to listen.”
“I remember how to listen.”
“But you still don’t know how to talk!”
“Wake up!” shouted Danny.
Some of the best games in life can be played anywhere, don’t cost a dime, and ususally involve children. Sometimes they let us big folks play.
