Author Archives: jeb

Dragon In A Cup

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Caught an Anole outside Phil Brown’s office after work. After searching all of R&D with the lizard caught in my hands, Phil ran upstairs and got a coffee cup with a lid.

Nicole, Lauren, and Danny were playing on the corner when I drove home. I rolled down the window and handed them the cup. Nicole peeked in one of the tiny holes in the lid, keeping her face at a safe distance. “Is it a bug?”

Lauren took the cup, and put her eye right up to the lid. “It’s a small snake!”

Danny took the cup, held one eye closed with his finger and thumb, and put his other eye as close to the lid as possible. “It’s a dragon snake!” he declared.

The green lizard is now sleeping it off in our ficus tree downstairs.

Today is Gammie’s birthday. We called her and had a long chat. I happened to have a MacRecorder hooked up, so I grabbed some excerpts.

Cute Girl

Really?

My Gosh!

Nice Night

Letter from Iraq

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[From Brian Zahn across the border from Iraq.]

15 March

Dear Myra,

Received your tape the other day and I just want you to know how much I appreciate it. Thanks to you and everyone involved. It was really great to hear from the old school buddies. Since I don’t have the addresses for everyone on the tape please pass on to them that this old soldier was really touched. You may have heard that mail takes a while to get to us over here (38 days for your tape) so in case you think I had forgotten or neglected to respond that’s the reason.

I’m doing very well but really looking forward to getting home. My unit is part of the 1st Infantry Division or more affectionately known as the Big Red One. You may have seen or heard about us in the news but suffice it to say we led the attack into the Iraqi flank demolishing 3 entire Republican Guards Divisions.

We fought continuously for 5 days (well, 10 really but you guys weren’t supposed to know that we were in contact 5 days before the war really started) with no sleep. We only stopped to rearm, refuel, and reorganize. That was really the key to our success- we kept them off guard once the attack began. My battalion alone (about 1165 Infantry and armor soldiers with 60 tanks and Bradleys) was credited with destroying 2 Iraqi regiments (about 4000 enemy soldiers, 150 tanks and 100 armored personnel carriers).

I missed out on the last day of the Battle as I was slightly wounded and MEDEVAC’ed to a Combat Hospital. It’s a long story but they were going to send me back to the States. But I would have no part of that. I told the Doc to patch me up and I commandered a chopper back to the front line. I rejoined my unit just in time to attack and secure SAFWAN airfield- that’s where GEN Schwartzkopf presented the ultimatum to the Iraqi’s.

Please tell Don, Carey, Jewel (Congrats to the newlywed- wish I could have been there!), Kathy (thanks so much for the help with the tape),

Brad, Dave, Krista, Vicky, Jeb and Edwan and Sue (hope I didn’t forget anyone!) that I will write them as soon as I can get their addresses. I understand that the support for this thing back home is just overwhelming and your thoughtfullness is just one example. You truly have reason to be proud of your country, the men and women who served over here, and those at home who gave their time and effort in support.

I believe Desert Storm has demonstrated what we in the military have known for years but have had no opportunity to prove… that no army, navy, or airforce in the world is a match for ours; especially when we have the kind of political and social support we had in this war. For this, at least on behalf of the 1165 soldiers under my control, I’d like to thank all of you.

I don’t know exactly when we’ll be coming home. Right now it looks like at least two more months. We are holding the line of demarkation until the peace treaty is signed and then we have to clean up all of our equipment and wait for an airplane.

Well, gotta go. Thanks again for all you have done. I miss all of you and hope to see you soon. Maybe we can all get back together in Athens and, like Carey said “Reopen the 4th Quarter”.

Your Classmate and Lifelong Friend,

Brian

P.S. I also received your letter w/ the photos- thanks again! As I was telling Connie before I left home, the only thing that can bring a soldier closer to home than a letter is a picture or a tape.

P.P.S.- Hope you enjoyed the little souvenir of Iraq!

Myra copied all of us this letter, but kept the souvenir sand for herself!

Going Back To Saturn

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SATURN

Stevie Wonder / Mike Sembello

©1976

Packing my bags- going away

To a place where the air is clean

On Saturn

There’s no sense to sit and watch people die

We don’t fight our wars the way you do

We put back all the things we use

On Saturn

There’s no sense to keep on doing such crimes

There’s no principles in what you say

No direction in the things you do

For your world is soon to come to a close

Through the ages all great men have taught

Truth and happiness just can’t be bought- or sold

Tell me why are you people so cold

I’m…

Going back to Saturn where the rings all glow

Rainbow, moonbeams and orange snow

On Saturn

People live to be two hundred and five

Going back to Saturn where the people smile

Don’t need cars cause we’ve learned to fly

On Saturn

Just to live to us is our natural high

We have come here many times before

To find your strategy to peace is war

Killing helpless men, women and children

That don’t even know what they’re dying for

We can’t trust you when you take a stand

With a gun and bible in your hand

And the cold expression on your face

Saying give us what we want or we’ll destroy

I’m…

Going back to Saturn where the rings all glow

Rainbow, moonbeams and orange snow

On Saturn

People live to be two hundred and five

Going back to Saturn where the people smile

Don’t need cars cause we’ve learned to fly

On Saturn

Just to live to us is our natural high

Venus by Nicole

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VENUS

by Nicole Cashin

March 13, 1991

ellian-from-venus.pngI live on the planet Venus.

I left Earth becuse it was trashy.

One day I woke up on Venus the planet had bubble trees. I saw an Ellian at a beach. She had an upside down nose, it had six mouths, it had one ear. She was my friend. Her name was Wierd-Mouth. I put my face inside a bubble when it poped I could fly. I felt pretty good. The ocean was full of candy. There are lots of milkshake flowers. I lived in a ginger bread house you could eat. I had the best time I’ve ever had.

The sand was real colorful. The trees had one-hundred dollar bills. I was very rich. I went to mcdonalds for ice-cream. Then we went to the park. It was real hot so we went to the beach. I ate lot’s of candy it was amazing I didn’t get sick. I had lot’s of friends. I liked it.

Then I went home and played in my pool. The pool had lot’s of cakes. Then I picked Milk Shakes. I picked strawbarry, choclate, banana. They were good. I’m never going to earth again.

The End

Save the Book

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[Nicole writes…]

I went on spring break I went to the movie theater I saw the never ending story was good it’s about a boy who goes in a story book and saves the book.

Nutty Crowd

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My ears hurt and my left teeth hurt.

intials-and-pins.pngLast night Kathy and I, Ted and Nancy, and Bennett and Alice went bowling. Ted has his own ball and his own shoes. The rest of us rented and agreed that we would like to own a pair of bowling shoes just to wear.

My first warm up was a strike. That was the end of my accurate bowling. Each couple bought one round.

Ted won with 123 and Alice just behind with 122. It pays to have your own ball and shoes. Alice was tickled because she had never done better than 100. Bennett followed with a 110 and Nancy with 88. Kathy and I both scored 52. Isn’t that cute. Oh well…

The bad company of six all climbed into the Butker’s Suburu Party Wagon and went to Taco Mac. We had a good time laughing and trying to out shout one another. At one point, Alice, Nancy, and Kathy all climbed head first into the basketball machine to steal balls for us to shoot with. My one shot landed on top of the net-covered machine. We had to move the machine to climb up and get the ball down. I’m sure our waitress, Carla, was delighted with our behavior. (“What a nutty crowd. They each order only one beer and go nuts!”)

I carved Kathy and my initials in the top of the table (where many others words had been carved.) Somewhere in the middle of the exchange, the phrase “casual breast” came up. Kathy thought that was particularly funny. Rules are rules.

Now let’s see… how much of Nicole and Danny’s college fund did we use up?

Shoes:     1.50  x  2   =   3.00

Lane:      2.50  x  2   =   5.00

Pitcher:                    5.75

Taco Mac:                  32.15

Cash from group:          -13.00*

Summer:                    10.00

------

Total                      42.90

*(Yes, I should have collected more.)

Seems like there are cheaper ways to make your ears and left teeth hurt.

FedEx to Disney

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fedex-folder-idea.png

Mr. Fredrick W. Smith

President

Federal Express Corporation

P.O. Box 727

Memphis, TN 38194

Dear Mr. Smith,

I have three problems that I thought you could solve.

The first is that I send and receive a great deal of paper work in your Overnight Letter package. We at Harland have been recycling for almost a year, but your packages have plastic on them making the used package ineligible for the recycling bins.

The second problem is that I never have enough manilla envelopes to keep all my papers organized.

So enclosed is an idea that I thought you might like. If you do like this idea, I’ll sell it to you for a small fee.

Which comes to my third problem. Kathy and I and our two kids have never been to Disney World together. I’ll trade you my idea for four round trip tickets to Disney Word (including lodging.) Maybe we could fly on one of your planes.

Please let me know what you think.

Sincerely,

Jeb Cashin

Product Manager

BBs and Pollen

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We got kicked out of the house three times this weekend. Two lookers on Saturday, and an open house held by Sharon Applebaum today. No one came to the open house.

target-bb.pngOver at Dad’s, everyone took a turn shooting a BB gun I found in the basement. Kathy joined us after another tiring day (especially with us staying up late on a day-light-savings-time-switch night.) She’s a pretty good shot.

Nicole hit the box three times. Danny was proud to hit it twice. I hit the bull’s eye three times. Dad hit the outer eye twice, which was pretty good because he was doing yard work without his glasses and had to guess where it was.

Dad should wear his glasses when he mows the yard. He misses spots.

Kathy hit the box twice, both times close to the outer eye.

Mom came out and added two good shots and used the last two BB’s. She had her glasses on, and she never leaves spots when she mows the yard.

The pollen count hit 2000+ over the week. It seems to be letting up, and finally, Danny’s terrible cough and Nicole’s not-as-terrible cough are subsiding. Dad and I discussed how a count of 120 is considered high. A count of 200 is extremely high. “So what the heck is 2000 and how much more extremely high can it get?” Dad asked.

I told him that maybe it’s like falling. Falling 500 feet is an extremely long and dangerous way to fall. So is one mile. This is probably not a perfect metaphor.

Pollen Coughing

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It was good to get back to work and relax after the exhausting weekend. Kathy and I stayed up late last night, just to make it that much more tiring.

Danny has his bad “allergy-based” cough at night. Sounds terrible, but the doctor, once again, says that he has no disease. Just sinuses. Sounds like his lungs are congested, but the doctor denies it.

Even Nicole, Kathy, and I are being affected by the record-high pollen counts this year.

Easter Dash

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The kids got plenty of candy from the Easter Bunny. I guess it didn’t hurt that they made pals with him when we ran into the big bunny by surprise at McDonald’s the day before. Danny was delighted to get two frisbies, a cookie, and a helium balloon the day before.

A basket full of candy was just a real plus.

Easter mass was crowded at Holy Cross. In fact, we had to sit in the spill-over mass in the community room, missing Mom sing in the main church. Just as well. Danny was antsy.

We all had honey-baked ham at Gramalie and Grandad’s for lunch. Sue and Grant and Ted were present. Carol, Bob, and Eric went to Cincinnati.

Later we climbed into the cars and went to the new park to throw the frisbee. Mom was very good at catching Grant’s precision throws. Kathy, Grant, and I ran a 50-yard dash. I won, Kathy came in close behind me. Grant quit to prove he wasn’t trying his hardest. I didn’t see him quit because he was behind me all the way.