Going to Kingston, Jamaica to serve the poor was not something I wanted to do. I fought against it up until the very night before we left. But, God would have it no other way. He clearly spoke to me through others, telling me that I was going to go. For that, I give thanks.

The experience was joyful and fulfilling. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so content, so safe, and so free of worry. I was allowed the honor of being a mother to children who didn’t have one. I was an entertainer to women whose days are mostly spent in the same shelter, doing the same things, with the same people day in and day out. I was glad to do the mundane work of sweeping, mopping, making beds, and folding laundry to serve men with AIDS who are living their last days.

Nearly every shelter we visited had a group of characters eagerly awaiting us. When the shelter gates opened, residents greeted us with hugs, smiles, and love. Whether the residents had a tumor on their face, or had rotten tooth smiles, or were otherwise infirm, their joy was contagious. It was like we had been friends forever and were once again being welcomed back into their homes.

People I would have had some fear about before February 2, I now see in a new light and with new respect. Much of what I saw didn’t make sense, like a paradox:

Then, there are the Brothers. What an unbelievable privilege it was to talk with them, eat with them, sing with them, and pray with them. They are so holy, so good, so loving. But we also got to see their humanity, their light hearted mischief. I left knowing God loves our humanness. I imagine He enjoys watching us having fun as long as we honor Him and love others first.

The contradiction I experienced in Jamaica was capped off at the airport in Miami. After caring for the world’s least, we ran into one of the world’s most powerful. We received a ‘hello’ from General Colin Powell while walking to our gate. I’m not quite sure what it all means, but somewhere there’s a message from the Father.

The final shock from the trip occurred the moment I walked into my own home. The house that I always think will be better once I get another piece of furniture, or paint my walls a different color, or etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, and it never is. Well, I walked into my house and the room actually leaped out at me, came rushing towards my face. I’m not sure if I stumbled backwards, but I do know that I live in a really nice home that is much more than I deserve.

The trip instilled in me the desire to avoid wastefulness and the need to remove clutter from my life, whether it be noise clutter or clutter from material items. I’ve also become much more accepting and hopefully more welcoming of people who are different from me.

My first full day back home, I came across a prayer that was perfectly answered for me in Kingston. I hope that it can also be answered for me here in Snellville, too.

Lord, catch me off guard today,

Surprise me with some moment of beauty or pain

So that at least for the moment

I may be startled into seeing that you are here in all your splendor,

Always and everywhere,

Barely hidden,

Beneath,

Beyond,

Within this life I breathe.

-Frederick Buechner

I hope the Father will answer this prayer for you, too.