11/27/05

Spud,

I used to think that I could love no other than Red, but that was before… Bethany. I almost made a love potion, but decided against it. Such a thing as love should not be tampered with. She was new, and the only empty seat in science class was the one across from me. She makes all A’s, although she is not on the level of intelligence as me. She is in all smart classes too. She is beautiful too. I often find myself taking pictures of her with the camera I had built into my glasses. I have a few good ones where she is looking right at me. Those, I painted. She is one of the few girls who actually talk to me too! I love her more than potatoes. Unfortunately, it seems all the other guys like her as well.

(my paintings of her)

She is very nice, and I think I have learned some things from my past experience with Red:

1. Don’t go sneaking around her house until she leaves, and then walk in talk to her parents about your future relationship with her when you have yet to have a relationship with her.

2. Don’t sniff her hair in the hallway

3. Don’t send her love notes out of used tissues when there is no other paper around

4. Don’t stare at her incessantly

5. Don’t follow her friends around and pester them with questions about her

6. Don’t compare her to potatoes… 🙁

7. Don’t ask her how much make up she is wearing

8. Don’t ask her if her hair color is her real hair color

9. Don’t blow model kisses made up of lipstick at her

10. Don’t talk to her about scabs or poop

11. Basically, don’t talk to her about things she wouldn’t want to hear

That is just a shortened list, there are other things as well, I just think that they are more common sense than the things listed here, although, after asking my mother to review the long list, my mom gave me this look that said, “You did that? How could you not know to do that?” She was upset to find out about me going to Red’s house without confronting her. I feel that if I follow these things then I will not do the other things.

I am progressing in my potato experiments. I found yet ANOTHER way that potatoes can reproduce, and I have found that they have 2 other genders. There is Male and Female, and then there is Effimale and Remale.

My sister seems to be maturing at an increasing rate now that she is in pre-school. My mother is letting us get a puppy, and I sold my mutated hermit crabs to some science establishment for $15,000. That will go to my college fund… although it does not need anymore money, so I will spend half of it on new science equipment. Fare the well!

–Bradford