Carol came down and we left here about 8:35 to go to Tallahassee. It’s 300 miles. We went to Gail’s house and changed clothes and then went to the cemetery. The service was at 3 p.m. and we got there about 2:35. Surprisingly to me, there were programs – with the Our Father on the left side and “In Loving Memory of Marie Lucille Howard Tener, date of birth, date of death, time and place of service, then Presiding Julie Cashin”. Well I didn’t know I was the presider, but it worked out o.k. I had my talk all ready and it was to last about 7 minutes. Dad had a scripture reading and reflection ready and his lasted about 3 or 4 minutes, and I found out after I got there that Diane (Marie’s niece) was going to read a poem at the end. Dad was also one of 6 pall bearers. Carol sat with Bob’s brother’s daughter and her husband from Ocala.
So, being the presider, I decided that I needed to welcome everybody and to introduce Dad. Gail wasn’t up to saying anything or coming to the podium so I knew it would have to be me. Gail also was not going over the grave for the interment, so the funeral director decided since Gail wasn’t going, nobody should have to go. So they didn’t.
The pall bearers came in and sat on the side, then I welcomed everyone and explained who I was (since it was printed in the program), and introduced Dad. He did a really nice job with the scripture reading, spoke clearly and slowly and then added some humor to his reflection which began when Bob and Marie moved next door while we were at church and when we came home Bob was getting water out of our faucet because they had not turned on their water, yet (whoever “they” were). He said Bob was very calm and just doing what he had to do, but Marie was mad as a wet hen. But, he went on to say that was what bonded Marie and me because I sympathized with her. He said that Marie was thoughtful, generous, and caring and she couldn’t understand why “they” weren’t the same way.
After Dad finished, I went back to the podium (thank goodness there was a microphone) and mostly read my speech, but ad libbed a bit. Carol and Dad said I did a good job and Gail said that it was more than perfect, so I am pleased. I should have introduced Diane, but I didn’t. I sat down and Diane came up and read her poem about the love of gardening and it was a very beautiful poem as a tribute to Marie. That didn’t last long, though. Then the funeral director came up to the front and asked the pall bearers to help with the coffin (which was in the front with a beautiful spray of flowers on it). Two of the funeral hall workers actually rolled the coffin out the doors and the pall bearers lifted it into the hearse. Then the director invited everyone to a reception in another room. So the whole service was about 20 minutes long! The funeral director said he would like to hire us to do services because some of them last so long.
There was plenty of food at the reception. That was good since Dad, Carol and I had not eaten lunch. There were ham and biscuits, fruit, vegetable and cheese trays, nuts and chips and chex mix, a ton of desserts, iced tea and coffee.
We left about 4:00 to head back to Lakeland. We stopped twice for gas (because the first place was so expensive so Dad just put $20 worth in), then at Cracker Barrel in Lake Wales to eat. Got back here to the condo at 9:30 p.m. It was a long day, but I’m so glad we went. I’m also thankful that Carol went with us. It’s always nice to visit with each of our children and this gave us plenty of visiting time together. Plus she drove almost all the way home and some of the way up there. She was a great support!
I read a poem at the beginning of my talk and one at the end. The first one was about Friendship and the last one was about the beauty that is left behind (that hangs in our hall bathroom at home). You know, when you put some thought and yourself into something, the one who benefits is YOU. I felt very close to Marie and enjoyed all of my memories while preparing the talk.
Friendship
Friendship needs no symbol
nor vow to make it whole.
It’s just a sacred covenant
that’s locked within the soul.
It knows no creed or station
or thought of gain or fame.
For what it does is sacred
and is done in “Friendship’s Name”.
Something Beautiful Remains
The tide recedes and leaves behind
seashells on the sand.
The sun goes down but gentle warmth
still lingers on the land.
The music stops yet lingers on
in haunting, sweet refrains.
For every joy that passes
something beautiful remains.