The Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s’ mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard

for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

A Christmas Eve Story

We headed to Publix

on Christmas Eve morn.

For Christmas dinner

we would have steak and corn.

We remembered the eggs, milk,

and fresh Cuban bread,

even the medicine

for our stuffy heads.

We were back home in time

to watch the Bucs play.

The Falcons lost

we are happy to say.

Soon after that

Andrew ran in fast on his feet.

The back gate was left open

Radar had run up the street.

Bob flew out the door

and started to Holler.

An angel was watching, she stopped her car

and grabbed the dogs collar.

We had to calm down and

get ready for Mass

The Christmas Eve Vigil

was coming up fast.

Radar was punished

and safe in his cage.

The gaurding of presents

was left up to Jake.

The Mass was so special,

the children’s choir was sweet.

We went to the Ale House for

onions and meat.

Before heading home,

we drove through the hood,

admiring lights and decor,

like everyone should.

Arriving back home

Jake the Great looked fatter.

He didn’t seem happy.

We asked, “What’s the matter?”

Looking around,

pretty soon Mom said,

“Jake ate that whole loaf

of Cuban Bread!”

It”s Christmas morning,

our dogs are still living.

It’s Jesus’ birthday

and time for giving.

I hope you’re all Happy

and healthy today,

and that’s about all

I’m going to say!