The Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird’s’ mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard

for over a minute.

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

What’s that noise?

I’m here at Mom’s house for the next week (if I make it that long). Lot’s of changes are going on around here, things are being shuffled around and sorted through and disturbed.

Mom wanted me to look at a little table she didn’t think she would use anymore. We went into the room that is almost empty now and looked at the little table. A strange little twangy noise beeped twice and stopped. We both looked around and tried to figure out where the sound was coming from. I thought it was coming from a bag on the floor. I picked up the bag and listened but the noise was closer to the hall. Mom stood in the hall and listened near the smoke detector but it seemed to be coming from the stairs.

Mom headed upstairs to see if it was the carbon monoxide detector but it seemed the noise had spread. I went upstairs with mom and into the blue room. The noise seemed to be coming from the vent above the windows. Mom closed the blinds and we headed back downstairs to see if the noise was still down there.

Sure enough, the noise was near the front door. I went back into the room we started in but the noise was fading. Mom thought it might be the alarm near the ceiling by the front door or maybe it was something outside and it was going away. The noise went off again and it was right next to me. It was MOM! I said, “It’s you!” She reached in her pocket and said “Oh, it’s my cell phone needing to be charged!”

That was weird!

Joy with Julie

Julie joined my weekly Bible study group this morning. She was very prepared and had some good readings to share. She also did her homework and added a lot to our discussion. I think everyone learned something today because Julie was there!

I feel very blessed to get to have my mom with me and I am very proud of her!

Where’s Jake?

Tuesday David mowed the grass. For some reason it seems to be hard to remember to close the back gate after mowing the backyard.

Bob came home from work and after dinner we decided to watch a movie. Bob let Jake out around 9:00. When the movie ended around 9:30 we realized Jake was missing. Soon we also realized that the back gate was open. Jake was gone.

Bob drove off looking around the neighborhood. David walked down to the end of the street. Andrew and I took Radar and walked around the block and down to the busy street. Nothing.

I took the van out and looked again around the neighborhood and Bob set out on foot with flashlights.

I went back home and made a big sign “LOST Black and Silver MINIATURE SCHNAUZER” (and our phone number). Around 10:00 Bob and I taped the sign to the stop sign at the entrance of our neighborhood. That was all we could do at that time of night. I was sure someone picked him up because he would have been home by then.

Around 10:25 the phone rang. A lady and her husband saw Jake walking in the middle of the busy street outside our neighborhood. They picked him up just after 9:00.

They took Jake to an all night vet to see if he had a micro-chip. He doesn’t have one. The lady took Jake’s picture and was going to have some flyers made. They passed back by the place they picked him up and looked to see if there were any signs nearby. Thankfully our sign was up and she saw it. She went back home to call us and Bob went straight over to pick him up.

We have received a Christmas Miracle. Jake will receive a new collar with his name and phone number embroidered on it in the next couple of days. His old collar makes a lot of noise when he shakes so we never leave it on him.

Vampires at Midnight

OOOwwweeeeiiioooo…..

My friend Karina has a daughter who has friends who all love the Twilight series. Some of the moms even love the books. I read the first book after my cousin Debbie insisted that I read it ASAP. I never could get into the second book, New Moon. The books are nice love stories but not quite my thing. Thankfully my sweet niece Kelly told me the ending.

So my friend Karina decided a few weeks ago that we should purchase tickets to see New Moon at the 1st showing which would be midnight this past Thursday night. Of course we had to buy tickets to see Twilight at 9:00 and then stay for New Moon. As it turned out, all 10 theaters did sell out for the midnight show so it was good we planned ahead!

Karina and her gang picked me up at 8:00. They were wearing matching Twilight t-shirts and had a life-size cut-out of Edward (leading male role). When we arrived at the theater the girls decided we should not take the cut-out. I thought that would be a waste so I decided to escort Edward to the theater walking with my arm around him. It was very dark by then and this cut-out looked like a real person only flat. Several people going past us stopped and stared and made comments. A group of girls came running up to us as soon as we got to the front of the theater. I realized that they were all in Andrew’s class. They were squealing with delight and asking to have their picture taken with Edward.

Pretty soon lots of people wanted pictures with Edward. These girls and women didn’t hesitate to hug, squeeze, and act like they were kissing the cut-out.

The employees at the theater thought the cut-out was great and didn’t mind us taking him into the theater. We sat in a row with a wider isle and stood Edward up to face the people coming in. People came in groups to have their picture made.

After watching Twilight (the theater was not even half full) some of the girls went to the lobby for snacks and a break. They came back telling us that the theater was packed full of people waiting for the midnight show. Fortunately we did not have to leave our good seats.

As soon as they started letting people in the fans recognized Edward standing in our isle. More came for pictures. Karina was really wishing we had charged people for the photo opportunity.

A group of women sat behind us and all wanted pictures. Some were drinking something they didn’t sell at the theater. They started giving the girls dollar bills for pictures.

The movie started. One of the women behind us had way too much of that drink. She was being loud and rude and eventually had to be thrown out.

What a waste of a ticket.

Soft walls

Last Weekend Andrew left Friday evening with the Boy Scouts for a camping trip north of Clearwater. It was supposed to be a 2 night trip.

Saturday night, after a long day of working on his latest home improvement project, Bob grilled some pork chops and sat down to watch a ball game. The phone rang and it was Andrew sounding miserable. He said his stomach hurt and he was hot. Bob asked one of the adults if he thought Andrew felt warm. The other dad said Andrew felt warmer than the other boys who were sitting next to the fire (Andrew wasn’t by the fire).

Being that the flu has been spreading rapidly around these parts Bob thought it best to drive 2 hours to pick up his boy. He wasn’t really sure where Andrew was and of course we couldn’t find our Tomtom (I put it in a safe place), but off he went chewing the last bite of pork chop. He did have a print out from mapquest but these campgrounds can be tricky.

Luckily Bob only missed one turn close to the campsite and only went a few miles out of the way. He found the Scouts, loaded up dirty Andrew with all of his dirty stuff and headed back home. I had thrown in the pillow Andrew forgot to take and a blanket and some medicine and a drink. Andrew didn’t take the medicine or drink the drink, he just fell fast asleep. He missed Bob stopping for gas and the trunk popping open and thought the whole trip took 5 minutes.

By midnight they were back home. Andrew looked exhausted (no sleep the night before) but didn’t feel warm to me. He took a shower and crawled into his clean bed and slept soundly. He did not end up being sick, just tired.

Yesterday I took the dogs to the groomer and had them back home before Andrew got out of school. I picked Andrew up at 5:00 (he stayed after school for Drama Club). He asked me what I had been doing all day. I told him the dogs were all clean and soft and smelled good after going to the groomer. He said that Radar was already soft. He said when he came home from the camping trip Radar was so soft. His bed was soft, his clothes were soft, even the walls were soft.

There’s no place like home.

To play or not to play

Tuesday Andrew had a soccer game at 4:30. We left for the almost 18 mile away destination right after school. Along the way we saw other RCS soccer players driving in the same direction. Once we arrived at the school we were puzzled because there was no soccer field. I asked a man going into the building if he knew where the kids play soccer. He said they play at the Auburndale Speedway (that would be one town over).

I found another mom looking for a field and she contacted the coach. He told her to go to the school parking lot and wait with the other RCS players for him to arrive. We did that and then followed him to Auburndale.

While driving and getting closer to the field we noticed a lot of dark clouds starting to form. As soon as we parked the boys jumped out of the cars into a down-pour. A few minutes later it started to thunder and lightning. The boys had to wait 15 minutes. By then it was just raining a little so they started to play. After 5 minutes it started to thunder and lightning again. The boys stopped playing and we waited. The thunder and lightning did not go away, but we did. Blah.

Today Andrew got to play soccer. He scored a goal. His team won. Yea!

Chapter 46

So this is what 46 is like. My oldest son has flown from the nest. Eric is off to increase his knowledge and experience life without mom and dad. His room has been handed down to David (really given back since he tricked David into switching rooms with him over a year ago).

David’s old room is now my office/ guest room/ Eric’s room when and if he ever returns.

I have started a new business and am thrilled to have an office.

Eric did come back for one night over Labor Day weekend. He brought 3 hungry friends with him. They ate a good meal and left to go see a movie. That was all I saw of him since I got up early to go clean Gramalie’s condo.

I think I’m going to like this chapter. Chapter 47 might be even better.

If I knew how to update my picture on this website, I would.